“Connection-first parenting” can sound lovely in theory and mildly infuriating at 4:42 p.m., when someone is crying because their toast was cut wrong, the baby is overtired, and your own nervous system has been running on fumes since breakfast.

So what does connection actually mean?

It does not mean being endlessly patient. It does not mean saying yes to everything. It does not mean preventing your child from being upset, or never missing a cue, or becoming some serene woodland creature, or a yoga-bliss-mama who responds perfectly to every feeling.